Humor
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IF YOU HATE IT……MAKE IT FUN!
He connected 8 leads from a little device and then hesitated. “Well, these last two have to go up under your left breast.” “No worries!” I laughed. “There’s nothing to go up under!” Read more
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FENG SHUI ME!
Our house is on the market. Having personally boxed up our homes for 19 moves in the last 35 years, I do not plan to pack one, single item that I don’t have to. In fact, the last two moving companies I’ve used have actually asked me if I want to work for them.… Read more
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THE VISIBLE WOMAN!
Back in the 70’s I purchased the “Visible Woman” for the girls in my high school English class. It was a see-thru plastic model of the human body. I figured that they should know what went where in their bodies. Little did I realize that 40 years later I would be proclaimed an INVISIBLE… Read more
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LIGHT MY FIRE
“Hey, you’re probably gonna get a ticket,” I said to the older gentleman sitting in the fire zone outside of Starbucks. “It’s okay,” he replied with a cursory glance at the sign. “My middle name is, ‘Fire’.” “Yeah, right,” I said, rolling my eyes. “My middle name is, “Ignatius,” he calmly explained, “which in Latin… Read more
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INCH BY INCH
For some stupid reason, when I turned 50, I decided that I should get an official physical. Not only had I lived half a century, I felt super-duper! The doctor poked everywhere, made me pee in a cup and sucked the marrow of my veins with waspy-looking hypodermics. The nurse measured and weighed me.… Read more
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GET ON MY LAWN!!!
Okay, so I called the cops—but hey it was late and dark and I was alone in the house when I spotted an old, beat up van with tinted windows parked well into the grass at the edge of my lawn. At first I thought it might be the girl who had contacted me… Read more
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10 TIPS TO LOOKING AND FEELING REALLY OLD
Pay cold, hard, cash to look like anyone but yourself: dye your hair, get a hairpiece, inject Botox, have plastic surgery—the works. Then take a good look in the mirror–naked. When you wake up in the morning, pay attention to every single ache and pain—then proceed to medicate. At all costs, do NOT exercise. Why… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 