Humor
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UP AGAINST THE WALL!!
“Okay, guys. Now turn and face that wall and stand up straight!” That’s exactly what I said to these two policemen before taking their picture yesterday. They had refused to let me photograph them from the front, saying their boss, “wouldn’t like it.” Instead, they let me shoot them from behind. I mean, seriously,… Read more
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HALLOW YOURSELF TONIGHT!!
“You’re a girl,” the man replied. “You can’t take off your shirt. Those are the rules.” Reluctantly, I did put it back on but I was mad and not one bit embarrassed. Why did a man have more freedom than I did? And besides, the two of us looked exactly alike shirtless!! Read more
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YIKES! SKYPE!
Honestly, I really am trying to stay ‘with it’ in terms of technology…but I just keep hitting roadblocks. I finally purchased an Internet phone, but I don’t ever use it for email because the darn screen is too SMALL to read. I even connected it to the Bluetooth in my car but am too nervous… Read more
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IF YOU HATE IT……MAKE IT FUN!
He connected 8 leads from a little device and then hesitated. “Well, these last two have to go up under your left breast.” “No worries!” I laughed. “There’s nothing to go up under!” Read more
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FENG SHUI ME!
Our house is on the market. Having personally boxed up our homes for 19 moves in the last 35 years, I do not plan to pack one, single item that I don’t have to. In fact, the last two moving companies I’ve used have actually asked me if I want to work for them.… Read more
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THE VISIBLE WOMAN!
Back in the 70’s I purchased the “Visible Woman” for the girls in my high school English class. It was a see-thru plastic model of the human body. I figured that they should know what went where in their bodies. Little did I realize that 40 years later I would be proclaimed an INVISIBLE… Read more
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LIGHT MY FIRE
“Hey, you’re probably gonna get a ticket,” I said to the older gentleman sitting in the fire zone outside of Starbucks. “It’s okay,” he replied with a cursory glance at the sign. “My middle name is, ‘Fire’.” “Yeah, right,” I said, rolling my eyes. “My middle name is, “Ignatius,” he calmly explained, “which in Latin… Read more
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INCH BY INCH
For some stupid reason, when I turned 50, I decided that I should get an official physical. Not only had I lived half a century, I felt super-duper! The doctor poked everywhere, made me pee in a cup and sucked the marrow of my veins with waspy-looking hypodermics. The nurse measured and weighed me.… Read more
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GET ON MY LAWN!!!
Okay, so I called the cops—but hey it was late and dark and I was alone in the house when I spotted an old, beat up van with tinted windows parked well into the grass at the edge of my lawn. At first I thought it might be the girl who had contacted me… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 