Inspiration
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LIGHT MY FIRE
“Hey, you’re probably gonna get a ticket,” I said to the older gentleman sitting in the fire zone outside of Starbucks. “It’s okay,” he replied with a cursory glance at the sign. “My middle name is, ‘Fire’.” “Yeah, right,” I said, rolling my eyes. “My middle name is, “Ignatius,” he calmly explained, “which in Latin… Read more
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INCH BY INCH
For some stupid reason, when I turned 50, I decided that I should get an official physical. Not only had I lived half a century, I felt super-duper! The doctor poked everywhere, made me pee in a cup and sucked the marrow of my veins with waspy-looking hypodermics. The nurse measured and weighed me.… Read more
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GET ON MY LAWN!!!
Okay, so I called the cops—but hey it was late and dark and I was alone in the house when I spotted an old, beat up van with tinted windows parked well into the grass at the edge of my lawn. At first I thought it might be the girl who had contacted me… Read more
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TO 75 AND BEYOND!!!
If you have not yet read, “Why I hope to die at 75,” by Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel in this month’s Atlantic, don’t bother. He may be a distinguished scientist, head the Department of Medical Ethics at U Penn and be a primary architect of Obamacare, but frankly he’s not too swift. At first I thought… Read more
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10 TIPS TO LOOKING AND FEELING REALLY OLD
Pay cold, hard, cash to look like anyone but yourself: dye your hair, get a hairpiece, inject Botox, have plastic surgery—the works. Then take a good look in the mirror–naked. When you wake up in the morning, pay attention to every single ache and pain—then proceed to medicate. At all costs, do NOT exercise. Why… Read more
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LIVE TO TELL
I had a BLAST being young. At 18, flying north on the Black Canyon Freeway headed out of Phoenix I remember the rush when I floored the car to 100 mph. It was thrilling and scary but once I hit 100 I eased off the gas. I wanted to live to tell about it.… Read more
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A SHOT IN THE DARK!
At midnight, as I was heading to bed, I heard the sound of rifles popping from the backyard. A mans’ voice shouted outside. As I moved towards the window to look out, everything went dark, suddenly—and fast. The dog barked and bolted. I groped my way towards a flashlight in the kitchen. On the way,… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 