Advice
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TO 75 AND BEYOND!!!
If you have not yet read, “Why I hope to die at 75,” by Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel in this month’s Atlantic, don’t bother. He may be a distinguished scientist, head the Department of Medical Ethics at U Penn and be a primary architect of Obamacare, but frankly he’s not too swift. At first I thought… Read more
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10 TIPS TO LOOKING AND FEELING REALLY OLD
Pay cold, hard, cash to look like anyone but yourself: dye your hair, get a hairpiece, inject Botox, have plastic surgery—the works. Then take a good look in the mirror–naked. When you wake up in the morning, pay attention to every single ache and pain—then proceed to medicate. At all costs, do NOT exercise. Why… Read more
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LIVE TO TELL
I had a BLAST being young. At 18, flying north on the Black Canyon Freeway headed out of Phoenix I remember the rush when I floored the car to 100 mph. It was thrilling and scary but once I hit 100 I eased off the gas. I wanted to live to tell about it.… Read more
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A SHOT IN THE DARK!
At midnight, as I was heading to bed, I heard the sound of rifles popping from the backyard. A mans’ voice shouted outside. As I moved towards the window to look out, everything went dark, suddenly—and fast. The dog barked and bolted. I groped my way towards a flashlight in the kitchen. On the way,… Read more
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FALL WELL
When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, war broke out. When I crossed mine, I merely landed flat on my back, upside down under a clump of trees. The Segway I had been riding just a few seconds earlier continued motoring backwards, back down the hill, off the side of the road and only stopped because… Read more
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FIVE THINGS YOU DON’T DO OVER 50
1. Fluff your hair and reapply lipstick when the cop pulls you over for speeding. (You’re desperately trying to remember where you put the registration). 2. Cut in line. Anywhere at any time. (At your age it just looks bad). 3. Laugh out loud at something on your cell phone while intimately seated in the… Read more
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EMBRACE OR ERASE
Exactly two weeks ago, my beloved and favorite uncle sat down and hand wrote me a lovely two-page letter. He included, as he often did, an article of interest from the local paper. Then he mailed it, drove to a deserted parking lot, put a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger. And while… Read more
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THE SECRET OF LIFE
Met an 18 year- old today who knows it. He was sitting in the lifeguard chair while I swam laps. Never seen him before. Here he was overlooking a pool full of old, white-haired ladies but he just seemed happy up there. He even gave me a big smile and a wave as I was… Read more