Advice
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WHY DREAM?
Poet Langston Hughes once wrote, “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” Where would we be without our dreams? They keep us buoyed with hope, consolidate our memories and help transform our emotional distress into resilience. Without them, what is there to look forward to? Dreams are… Read more
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PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM
I spend many hours here as my fingers tease melodies out of the keys. Listening to the piano over my lifetime has connected it with so many events that my experience of it has become emotional. Science says that each time I listen, the moments press a sustain pedal in my brain, making the experience… Read more
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WHAT’S WRONG WITH A LITTLE ATTENTION?
In my youth, I was shy and hugely concerned about what others thought. During my first year in college, a professor asked me a question and my reply was so soft that he couldn’t hear my answer. When the guy behind me repeated what I had just said for me, I figured it was time… Read more
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“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”–GB Shaw
When was the last time you played or did something spontaneous that wasn’t scripted? Maybe you hung upside down on the monkey bars, flew a kite or pulled a harmless prank on someone. Most adults do not play enough. When I ask clients when they last did something fun, many say, “I don’t remember.” But ‘all work… Read more
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MARK YOUR TERRITORY
Waiting for a restroom in New York City recently, this sign caught my attention. I recognized the man and woman, but thought the middle symbol was a sink with a mirror. Two 20-something women waiting behind me, began talking about the sign. So, I listened. “Oh my God, the woman’s top looks like an electrical outlet. Like you… Read more
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INVISIBLE STRINGS
I have had a recurring dream since the age of 5. I’m in a schoolyard with other children and trying to climb up a fence. The teacher is yelling at me to, “Come Down!” With immense mental effort, I begin to rise very slowly. My feet hover just above the teacher’s outstretched hands. It takes… Read more
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GIDDY WITH GRATITUDE!
Recently, a new friend said to me at a party, “You come with a reputation. Everyone knows you and the reviews are all 5-star!” I felt so warm inside you’d have thought my heart was on fire. Isn’t it funny how two sentences can lift your spirits? It’s nice to imagine I might have that… Read more
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LIGHT IT UP
As a therapist, I’ve seen my share of suicides, psychotics, schizophrenics and other tortured souls: Men and women abusing each other or themselves. Couples with unrealistic expectations of their partners. Addicts unable to stop using drugs, eating food or watching porn and a populace that has seemingly lost its’ purpose. Recently, a teenager told me… Read more
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RANDOM OR RIGGED?
My neighbor saw this hole in my tree and thought I drilled it. I explained a woodpecker made it. When he still looked at me quizzically, I replied, ‘I watched him do it.’ Sometimes the conclusions we draw have no connection to the truth. Franklin D. Roosevelt believed that if you said, ‘rabbit rabbit,’ the… Read more
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TO DREAM PERCHANCE TO SLEEP
I used to think of sleep as ‘nothingness,’ and a waste of time. I never even napped for fear of what I might be missing. Now I’ve learned that I was missing a lot. I also thought 8 hours of sleep was just fine. However, after using my Oura sleep-tracker, I found I was only… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 