Advice
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LOVE IS BLIND
I just helped my 65-year-old client set up his first, online dating profile. Sadly, he stayed long past the expiration date of his marriage and is now starting over. Meanwhile, my youngest daughter has attended more weddings this year than I’ve been to in my lifetime. Statistically, 45% of those unions will end in divorce. That’s why… Read more
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by
in
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PLANTS GROUND US
I’ve had my hands in dirt since I was 10 and planted my first cactus garden. It took weeks and multiple thorns in my fingers to complete. When we moved, it was the only thing I was sad to leave. In the years since, I’ve planted bottle brushes in Sarasota, crape myrtles in Nashville, a… Read more
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magical thinking
I have a friend who cleans his sunglasses with paper money. He swears, “It keeps them cleaner longer.” However, the science says that’s not true. Paper, which is made from wood pulp, scratches lenses. So why is he convinced otherwise? Beats me. What matters is what he thinks—not what is. Neither truth nor science affect our decision making.… Read more
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WHY DREAM?
Poet Langston Hughes once wrote, “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” Where would we be without our dreams? They keep us buoyed with hope, consolidate our memories and help transform our emotional distress into resilience. Without them, what is there to look forward to? Dreams are… Read more
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PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM
I spend many hours here as my fingers tease melodies out of the keys. Listening to the piano over my lifetime has connected it with so many events that my experience of it has become emotional. Science says that each time I listen, the moments press a sustain pedal in my brain, making the experience… Read more
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WHAT’S WRONG WITH A LITTLE ATTENTION?
In my youth, I was shy and hugely concerned about what others thought. During my first year in college, a professor asked me a question and my reply was so soft that he couldn’t hear my answer. When the guy behind me repeated what I had just said for me, I figured it was time… Read more
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“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”–GB Shaw
When was the last time you played or did something spontaneous that wasn’t scripted? Maybe you hung upside down on the monkey bars, flew a kite or pulled a harmless prank on someone. Most adults do not play enough. When I ask clients when they last did something fun, many say, “I don’t remember.” But ‘all work… Read more
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MARK YOUR TERRITORY
Waiting for a restroom in New York City recently, this sign caught my attention. I recognized the man and woman, but thought the middle symbol was a sink with a mirror. Two 20-something women waiting behind me, began talking about the sign. So, I listened. “Oh my God, the woman’s top looks like an electrical outlet. Like you… Read more
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INVISIBLE STRINGS
I have had a recurring dream since the age of 5. I’m in a schoolyard with other children and trying to climb up a fence. The teacher is yelling at me to, “Come Down!” With immense mental effort, I begin to rise very slowly. My feet hover just above the teacher’s outstretched hands. It takes… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 