OMG! Hasn’t life been SO much simpler since we reduced words to three letters? I checked the AQI this morning and decided not to go outside. Since I don’t take PED’s, I had to do something so headed to the GYM. (My acronym for Get Yourself Moving)
FYI, more people stare at their phones there than exercise. So, while they’re texting LOL’s to their BFF’s, I wait and fume. Finally I say, “Hey. I’m getting OBM. Can I work in with you before I GOP?” A guy wearing a JDI shirt is sprawled in the middle of the mat doing nothing. I ask if he would mind moving over. He doesn’t budge. RUS? I say, “Don’t wear a JDI shirt if you’re not gonna DI.”
I head to my car and pass a woman and her mom having coffee at an outside table. The mom stares at her phone and says, “Honey, what does EMF mean?” (Had she not told her, I’d have had to look it up). TMI? In the car, I turn the radio on. WTF is up with all the commercials? If you have a UTI, STD, PTSD, BPD, ED or OCD, you’re in luck. There’s a drug for you. If you just wanna listen to music, however, you’re SOL!
Back in the day, cops put out APB’s if you were wanted. You were DOA at the morgue and SOS meant ‘Help!’ Now? We’re living in a 3-letter world. OIC. Don’t believe me? Consider this: Ariana Grande’s last song was ‘POV’ and 60 Minutes just did a whole segment on NFT’s.
FTR, I had lunch today with an older friend who doesn’t own a computer or cell phone. As she struggled to recall where the Red Sea was, I opened my phone.
“Hey Siri?” I ask. “Where is the Red Sea?”
“It is an inlet of the Indian Ocean between Africa and Asia.”
“Isn’t that cool?” I brag. She looks askance.
“I could’ve looked it up. Imagine all the other things I might have noticed along the way.”
Branson and Bezos just zoomed into space; a zillion dollars for 10 minutes of free fall but what did they see ‘along the way?’ Do we really need to spend that kind of money to “realize just how small we are and how fragile Earth is?” DTS. We’re on the expressway of knowledge but everything is flying by. Nothing is sticking. Initialism has become our self expression.
Recently, I helped look after the adorable fellows pictured above. Oh, how I loved listening to them use their words! Every syllable was a symphony to my ears. When the littlest dropped his toy and I said, “Uh, Oh.” He replied: “It happens.” Honestly? Isn’t life short enough without shortening it even more? IDK. I’m thinking of adding all the letters back in. It might just prolong my life.
CHEAT SHEET FOR THE CHALLENGED
OMG: Oh My God
AQI: Air Quality Index
PED: Performance Enhancing Drugs
FYI: For Your Information
LOL: Laugh Out Loud
BFF: Best Friends Forever
OBM: Older By the Minute
GOP: Go Out to Pasture
JDI: Just Do It
RUS: Are You Serious
EMF: Enjoy Mother F…..
TMI: Too Much Information
SOL: S… Out of Luck
FTR: For The Record
OIC: Oh I See
POV: Point Of View
NFT: Non Fungible Tokens
DTS: Don’t Think So
IDK: I Don’t Know