Honestly, if I have to create one more user ID or come up with one more stupid password that involves a capital letter, a number and 3 naked elves I’m gonna scream.  (Never mind.  I just did).  Took me 10 minutes searching through my 11 pages of passwords to find what I was looking for only to enter it and be told, “You changed your password 6 months ago.”  Apparently I forgot to include that one.

 Last week, I called the bank and they wanted me to answer my “secret question.”  It was so d—- secret I got it wrong and it was the name of my first pet!  It took me another ten minutes, talking with the supervisor to confirm that I indeed was ME.  By that time, I actually forgot why I called in the first place!!!

 Not only that, yesterday I rushed into the kitchen for something and just stood there.  Looked at the stove.  Stared at the cupboards.  Eyed the dish drainer.  Watered the potted plant.  Wiped down the counter.  And the whole time I kept thinking, ‘Now why did I come in here?’  An hour later while driving to the market, it came to me:  the shopping list. 

 Just this morning, I had a doctor appointment.  Now my doctor is one of those high-tech guys.  Just to be sure his patients are timely, he sends those automatic thingamajigs that go straight to your calendar.  Problem is, my computer is set to Eastern time. However, my appointment this morning was in Central time. 

 On Jeopardy tonight, one of the answers was ‘Andrew Lloyd Webber.’  Now I KNEW who he was.  I could see him.  I could even hear his voice.  In fact, I know the lyrics to ALL his songs, but for the life of me I could not come up with his name.  “That little English guy,” I finally yelled.  Minus $2,000 for me.

 It’s hard enough to remember the basics let alone a slew of convoluted passwords.  So, I just googled, “How do I remember all my passwords?”  Big mistake.  First site said I should try algorithms.  Next site suggested I devise anagrams.  Third site said to join a site that saves your passwords.  Yup.  They require a user ID and password.  At this point, I have so many of those I don’t know who I am anymore.  Witness protection here I come.  NO ONE will find me….even me.

P.S.  I’m starting to think we don’t have an Alzheimer’s epidemic at all.  We just have a whole lot of people who have forgotten their passwords!

Hudson is the author of, “Kissing Tomatoes,” now available on Amazon/Kindle.