Humor
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stupid is smarts gone AWOL
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein Sometimes I do something so dumb that even I am floored. Such was the case last night, when I decided to untangle string lights that a windstorm blew over the backyard wall. Despite my poor vision… Read more
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PLANTS GROUND US
I’ve had my hands in dirt since I was 10 and planted my first cactus garden. It took weeks and multiple thorns in my fingers to complete. When we moved, it was the only thing I was sad to leave. In the years since, I’ve planted bottle brushes in Sarasota, crape myrtles in Nashville, a… Read more
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THE DOORWAY EFFECT
Yesterday, I was baking cookies and had the foresight to set the timer on my new iphone. 10 minutes later, there was a weird beeping noise which I did not recognize. So, I scoured the house wondering if one of the smoke detectors needed a new battery. Nope. I walked PAST the oven and tried… Read more
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HAVE I STAYED TOO LONG AT THE FAIR?
Vince Lombardi famously said, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” Turns out that’s not exactly true. Research shows we stay far, too long in our jobs, relationships and friendships and it doesn’t serve us well. It keeps us connected to people that no longer reflect who we are and keeps us away from those… Read more
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A DAY IN THE LIFE
When I tell you this fellow was the only person who smiled at me in the gym today, I mean the ONLY one. There were at least a hundred people there and not a word of conversation could be heard. Other than some clanging barbells and a few grunts, it was deadly silent! Almost every… Read more
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THE UPSIDES OF GOING DOWNHILL
I’m gonna smack the next person who tells me, “You’re only as old as you feel.” That is the single, stupidest thing I’ve heard in the last 20 years. If you knew how I really felt, you’d wonder how the hell I was still above ground!! AND…on the days when I DO feel young, folks… Read more
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DO YOU PREVARICATE?
Lies come in many colors. While ‘little white lies’ are harmless, others are more nefarious. There are the ‘true blue’ ones which are mostly but not completely true like, “I have horsed around with kids,” which coach Jerry Sandusky said when first accused of child abuse; the ‘red hot,’ ones, like “I can make you… Read more
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CLUES DON’T ALWAYS SOLVE THE PUZZLE
They say you can tell a bit about someone by looking in their icebox. (You can also tell a bit about someone who still uses the word icebox). The author in this link says your fridge speaks volumes about you and can even tell your financial status. Are you a vegan with probiotics and supplements? A meat-eater with… Read more
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NOW YOU SEE IT
I still remember every, single one of those metal staples being pulled out of me by pliers. That was just the surface pain. Underneath was a gut-wrenching trauma. As my surgeon breezily explained, “It’s brutal. I make a 10-inch incision across your knee and remove your knee cap. Then I saw your leg in half,… Read more
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SQUABBLE OR SCRABBLE?
Lately, my couples have been going after each other like these quail; their beaks moving fast and furiously to get the last seed— or word— in. Sometimes, I remove myself from the jabber and just listen. Two sentiments between multiple partners have repeated themselves over and over. They bear noting: 1. “You should know… how… Read more