Philosophy
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PLANTS GROUND US
I’ve had my hands in dirt since I was 10 and planted my first cactus garden. It took weeks and multiple thorns in my fingers to complete. When we moved, it was the only thing I was sad to leave. In the years since, I’ve planted bottle brushes in Sarasota, crape myrtles in Nashville, a… Read more
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magical thinking
I have a friend who cleans his sunglasses with paper money. He swears, “It keeps them cleaner longer.” However, the science says that’s not true. Paper, which is made from wood pulp, scratches lenses. So why is he convinced otherwise? Beats me. What matters is what he thinks—not what is. Neither truth nor science affect our decision making.… Read more
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WHY DREAM?
Poet Langston Hughes once wrote, “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” Where would we be without our dreams? They keep us buoyed with hope, consolidate our memories and help transform our emotional distress into resilience. Without them, what is there to look forward to? Dreams are… Read more
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THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
I have played pickleball under these signs countless times for several years. Until someone took this picture, I didn’t realize just how many, “NO’s” were above my head. There are nine to be exact. Why didn’t I see them before? Likely it’s because I’m always looking for the “Yes” in things, not the “No.” So, I wonder why… Read more
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NAVIGATING IGNORANCE
For a split second, this upside down sign tricked my eye into thinking the speed limit was 52. A split second is all it takes for a catastrophe. Whether it’s running a red light or removing the wrong organ in surgery, we all slip up. Even worse, the more experienced we are at something, the… Read more
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“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”–GB Shaw
When was the last time you played or did something spontaneous that wasn’t scripted? Maybe you hung upside down on the monkey bars, flew a kite or pulled a harmless prank on someone. Most adults do not play enough. When I ask clients when they last did something fun, many say, “I don’t remember.” But ‘all work… Read more
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MARK YOUR TERRITORY
Waiting for a restroom in New York City recently, this sign caught my attention. I recognized the man and woman, but thought the middle symbol was a sink with a mirror. Two 20-something women waiting behind me, began talking about the sign. So, I listened. “Oh my God, the woman’s top looks like an electrical outlet. Like you… Read more
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JUDGE THE COVER, MISS THE BOOK
Just when I think I’m seeing things clearly, I get thrown a curve ball. As I enter the produce section of Trader Joe’s, there is a man fondling the bananas. Yes, fondling. He eventually pulls off only one. I’m intrigued. His clothes are ill fitting and shabby and the seat of his trousers seems oil… Read more
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LIGHT IT UP
As a therapist, I’ve seen my share of suicides, psychotics, schizophrenics and other tortured souls: Men and women abusing each other or themselves. Couples with unrealistic expectations of their partners. Addicts unable to stop using drugs, eating food or watching porn and a populace that has seemingly lost its’ purpose. Recently, a teenager told me… Read more
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LOVE? OR SOMETHING LIKE IT?
This is my picture of unconditional love: a dog cruising down the highway with the window open, smiling and waving at everyone who passes. Love is arguably the only feeling that makes you, ‘able to leap tall buildings’ and get weak in the knees at the same time. But it’s ephemeral. Try to hold on too tightly… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 