Humor
-
HELP I’M IN THE TUB AND I CAN’T GET OUT!
Look what I just bought myself for Christmas! Remember that commercial where an old lady was on the floor and said, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up?” It used to make me laugh. Not anymore. I finally took my first bath in this tiny tub since replacing both my knees. For reference, it… Read more
-
S-T-R-E-T-C-H
You can see from this picture that I’m flexible. What you can’t see are my two, artificial knees, spinal scoliosis, achy hip and temperamental shoulder due to a long-ago dislocation. I started doing yoga in my teens, 50 years ago. Nothing fancy but I still do a little bit every day. Now, it only takes about 10 minutes a day to… Read more
-
TROUBLE WITH A little ‘t’
I think we should spend less time putting warning labels on products and redirect them onto people. Wouldn’t it be nice if you were out somewhere and someone walked up with a shirt that said, “Caution. Do not engage this guy in conversation. He’s never read a book?” Mine would say, “Be careful what you ask her. No telling what… Read more
-
KEEP IT DOWN?
“Your voice is really loud,” a complete stranger said to me yesterday at pickleball. “Yes, I know,” I replied. “I could hear you on the court from here,” he continued. “That’s not surprising,” I said. “We’re only about 6 feet away.” “Well,” he continued, “I also notice you’re wearing headphones.” “Yes,” I replied, “but I haven’t… Read more
-
YOUNG AGAIN?
There is no instruction book for aging. The label on an aspirin bottle is infinitely more informative. As if losing your hearing and sight weren’t enough, your brain does odd things. Yesterday, I went into the garage three, separate times. Each time, I brought an item to put in the recycling bin but I knew that wasn’t why… Read more
-
USE YOUR WORDS!
OMG! Hasn’t life been SO much simpler since we reduced words to three letters? I checked the AQI this morning and decided not to go outside. Since I don’t take PED’s, I had to do something so headed to the GYM. (My acronym for Get Yourself Moving) FYI, more people stare at their phones there than exercise. So, while they’re… Read more
-
I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW!!
A few months ago, my eye doctor told me that I had cataracts in both eyes and one was a stage 4. “Oh,” I said upon hearing the news, “I was having trouble playing tennis at night.” He was incredulous. “I don’t think you quite understand,” he replied. “You’re actually legally blind. You shouldn’t be driving, let alone playing tennis.” So,… Read more
-
GET THE DAMN SHOT
My oldest daughter came home for a visit yesterday and as we walked across the patio she said, “Oh, Mom. I love how you haven’t pulled the weeds. It makes everything so GREEN!” She was serious. I was dumbstruck. What a wonderful world this would be if all of us found that kind of positivity in a gnarl of chaos. Since her… Read more
-
WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
No one’s in it. I had the entire mall to myself this morning. Where is everyone? Holding out at home, too terrified to risk contagion at any cost. Soon there won’t be any excuse for that. We won’t have time to sit around and dream up conspiracy theories. Thanks to thousands of scientists around the world, we now have not… Read more
-
LIGHTEN UP!
Every few days I pop over to Trader Joe’s to pick up a few items. They always have fun music pumping in the parking lot so I often sing and dance my way into the store. Last week, I met a yogi swathed in tattoos who showed me his, “tree pose” while waiting in line. By golly, he… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 