There is no instruction book for aging. The label on an aspirin bottle is infinitely more informative. As if losing your hearing and sight weren’t enough, your brain does odd things. Yesterday, I went into the garage three, separate times. Each time, I brought an item to put in the recycling bin but I knew that wasn’t why I was there. On my final trip, I just stood by the bin holding an empty, plastic bottle, wondering why I was there. Just then, the garbage truck passed by outside and I remembered: It was recycling day and I just missed my pickup.
It gets worse. I purchased a pair of yoga pants with four pockets! I LOVE pockets. After washing & drying them for the first time, I put them on and was horrified to discover that all of my pockets were gone! I ran my hands up and down my legs several times and sure enough, not one pocket was left. In that moment, I convinced myself they must have been made of such cheap material that the washing and drying action had simply knocked them all off. It wasn’t until an hour or so later, while peeing, that I realized I’d actually put my pants on inside out!!
Oh, there’s more. I downloaded Apple Pay on my phone to imitate my 20-something daughter. Boy, did I feel cool. At the dentist office, I whisked out my phone to pay. I held it against the keypad but nothing happened. Finally, the receptionist said, “Helen, you have to get closer.” So, there in a waiting room packed with people, yours truly stuck her FACE against the pad. As everyone begin to giggle, I realized something profound: Aging is simply a return to childhood.
So, my petals may be falling, but my sense of humor is still intact. I recently bought toilet paper on sale at CVS. As I scurried off, the cashier said, “Hey, you forgot your receipt!” “I don’t need it,” I replied. “But what if you want to return it?” she countered. “Darlin’, it’s toilet paper. Trust me. You don’t want me returning it.” So, while my skin plays the accordion and folds in upon itself and my thoughts boomerang, color me young…again. If you’re feeling nostalgic for your youth, read “Fern Hill,” by Dylan Thomas. If it doesn’t make you cry, you simply haven’t lived long enough.
AGEFULLY AGING 
Love you Helen!
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Love you, too, Peter!
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I must be going through the same thing at almost 72. A few weeks ago I remembered that I met a girl at the Improv in L.A. in 1976, that was the club for comedians and songwriters to practice their craft. She had just hit town and was going to be a star. At least that’s what she told me. She gave me short shrift, thinking that I was just trying to pick her up (which I was but only because I was smitten with her). So despite the brush off, I went home that night and wrote a song inspired by her. It was called “Instant Love.” Here’s the lyrics:
They say that love takes the long way around
Oh, and when you’re lonely, you’re bound to be let down
It’s comedy, or it’s tragedy; I can’t tell them apart
I might not admit it but you just stole my heart
Instant Love
Oh, I was a fool
To let you get so close to me so soon
Instant Love
Oh, I was a fool
But I’ll always be foolish for you
And I’m not as lonely as you might believe
My loneliness can’t explain the way you got to me
I was hanging out, and hanging in, for the love I hoped to find
I might not admit it but I’m out to make you mine
Instant Love
Oh, I was a fool
To let you get so close to me so soon
Instant Love
Oh, I was a fool
But I’ll always be foolish for you
Yes, I’ll always be foolish for you
For you.
(C) 1976 Michael C. Mergler
Now, one of my friends took it to a friend of his who was culling material for an Eric Clapton album, and we were told that he was going to record it. But at the last minute Eric decided that the song was “too pop” and it became #11 out of ten tracks. My life would have been very different if it had made that album. Instead I moved back to Cincinnati and went back to my job as a concert promoter. A few years later I met my wife who was pissed off when I asked her to go to Chicago, and she thought I meant the city when I meant the band, who I was promoting at the time. Now we’ve been married for 44 years.
But that’s not all, about a decade ago I started making movies, and I was able to use “Instant Love” in the very first movie we made, Divine Decision (www.stmichaelmovies.com). That’s when I realized what the song was meant for, and it still held up after all those years.
So who was the girl that inspired that song? Her name was Helen Hudson, and though we never saw each other again, a few weeks ago I went searching for her on the internet. Why I don’t know, but there she was, still inspiring people. So hats off to Helen. She didn’t launch a thousand songs, but she did launch one good one for me.
Mike Mergler
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Wow, Mike. What a story. How wonderful your song found a place and even better to hear of your long, beautiful marriage. Super to hear from you and grateful that you were inspired to create something from our brief meeting so very long ago. Carry on and my very best to your wife. Helen
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Will go immediately to read FERN HILL. I trust everything you say !!!
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Hello Helen, From Rosemary (Keith Crummer’s Mother-in-law here!) I find your perspectives interesting. Yes, age brings us challenging surprises!!! And this post’s photo is startlingly beautiful. Thank you for that. Rosemary
Note: Have you discovered the podcaste: Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis- Dreyfus
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Yes, the podcast is super! Nice to hear from you.
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