Humor
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“GRAY IS THE NEW BLONDE”
That’s exactly what the receptionist said to me this afternoon as I was paying a doctor’s bill. I had just made fun of their new office sign which said: Settle Your Encounters Here. “Encounters? Good grief. Why don’t you just say, ‘Bills?’ Are we going back to the 70’s or something?” The young receptionist, (who reminded me… Read more
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HONK IF YOU LOVE SENIOR CITIZENS
Really, all I wanted to do this afternoon was fly into the ATM, grab some quick cash, fill the car up with gas, get some milk and fly back to pick up my high schooler from her last exam. If everything went smoothly, I would have JUST enough time. There was only one car ahead… Read more
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AARP (An Age Richly Producing)
I was mad. Fuming actually. Could not believe that the envelope I had just pulled from the mailbox was “an invitation to join AARP.” Certainly this was meant for someone else; someone really old. Not ME, the ponytailed girl who had just put in her ½ mile daily swim. But no, it really WAS me. … Read more
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by
in
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HOLD YOUR HORSES!!
“I am extremely prejudiced towards old folks. Just love ’em. Guess you could say that I have a thing for crinkly wrinkles and a shuffling step. In fact, give me a sour codger over a surly teen ANY day of the week. At least they’ve earned it.” Read more
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NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT
“We will likely not even be here when our girls reach the age we are now. I have done the math. So I have to hope that the world they are aging into will one day embrace the wrinkles, the mottled skin and the dementias. For it does not now, and the gap between our… Read more
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OLD FOLKS & ARTICHOKES
“When Granny first taught me how to eat an artichoke, I was perturbed that I had to go through all those layers of armor just to get to that mushroom cap of a heart. Frankly, at 13, i thought the best part was the butter dipping.” Read more
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ALZHEIMER’S & THE GIFT OF FORGETTING
“Only ONCE did Granny say to me during her Alzheimer’s years, “I think I am losing my memory.” It was towards the end, in the middle of that period when she was wearing a diaper and I was re-instructing her on how to use a spoon. She didn’t even know my name and my first… Read more
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BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
“There is not one, single moment of one, single day that I would ever want to live over. not even the first kiss my husband gave me–that Malibu night, as waves crashed against the sand and my heart felt like a thousand stars imploding–could lure me back.” Read more
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GRANNY’S ONE-SENTENCE MARRIAGE ADVICE
“Though I didn’t know it then, I was walking into wedded bliss with a slew of needs I didn’t even know I had! It started with the toilet seat. I needed it to be down when I stumbled into the bathroom in the dead of night and had to go. I did not expect to… Read more