Commentary
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WHY DREAM?
Poet Langston Hughes once wrote, “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” Where would we be without our dreams? They keep us buoyed with hope, consolidate our memories and help transform our emotional distress into resilience. Without them, what is there to look forward to? Dreams are… Read more
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“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”–GB Shaw
When was the last time you played or did something spontaneous that wasn’t scripted? Maybe you hung upside down on the monkey bars, flew a kite or pulled a harmless prank on someone. Most adults do not play enough. When I ask clients when they last did something fun, many say, “I don’t remember.” But ‘all work… Read more
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MARK YOUR TERRITORY
Waiting for a restroom in New York City recently, this sign caught my attention. I recognized the man and woman, but thought the middle symbol was a sink with a mirror. Two 20-something women waiting behind me, began talking about the sign. So, I listened. “Oh my God, the woman’s top looks like an electrical outlet. Like you… Read more
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INVISIBLE STRINGS
I have had a recurring dream since the age of 5. I’m in a schoolyard with other children and trying to climb up a fence. The teacher is yelling at me to, “Come Down!” With immense mental effort, I begin to rise very slowly. My feet hover just above the teacher’s outstretched hands. It takes… Read more
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JUDGE THE COVER, MISS THE BOOK
Just when I think I’m seeing things clearly, I get thrown a curve ball. As I enter the produce section of Trader Joe’s, there is a man fondling the bananas. Yes, fondling. He eventually pulls off only one. I’m intrigued. His clothes are ill fitting and shabby and the seat of his trousers seems oil… Read more
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LIGHT IT UP
As a therapist, I’ve seen my share of suicides, psychotics, schizophrenics and other tortured souls: Men and women abusing each other or themselves. Couples with unrealistic expectations of their partners. Addicts unable to stop using drugs, eating food or watching porn and a populace that has seemingly lost its’ purpose. Recently, a teenager told me… Read more
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RANDOM OR RIGGED?
My neighbor saw this hole in my tree and thought I drilled it. I explained a woodpecker made it. When he still looked at me quizzically, I replied, ‘I watched him do it.’ Sometimes the conclusions we draw have no connection to the truth. Franklin D. Roosevelt believed that if you said, ‘rabbit rabbit,’ the… Read more
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LOVE? OR SOMETHING LIKE IT?
This is my picture of unconditional love: a dog cruising down the highway with the window open, smiling and waving at everyone who passes. Love is arguably the only feeling that makes you, ‘able to leap tall buildings’ and get weak in the knees at the same time. But it’s ephemeral. Try to hold on too tightly… Read more
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PUT A RING ON IT
While the country swirls in chaos, I’ve gone Zen and purchased the Oura ring, pictured above. It watches over me silently. It knows how much I sleep, how good that sleep is and even reminds me when it’s time for bed. It also seems to know what I am doing at any given moment. Recently,… Read more
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HIGHER THAN A KITE
Lately, I’ve had a plethora of couples come for counseling. When it comes to frustration with a partner, age, apparently has no limitation. I have couples who’ve been married from two to 40-plus years. Interestingly, all of them have these three things in common: 1. They think they know each other really well, but definitely do… Read more
AGEFULLY AGING 