WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?

Photo: These two don’t make excuses. They make points.

There’s nothing wrong with making the occasional excuse. Excuses ease us out of awkward situations. When they become a way of life, it’s a problem. Such was the case with my client. He had an excuse for everything: “It sounds like I’m making excuses but it’s the truth.” It wasn’t. He made excuses because he’d been terrified to make choices. His life was miserable because he hadn’t chosen it.

These are the most difficult clients; not the addict, alcoholic, abusive, narcissist or even depressive. It’s the ones who won’t own their behavior and constantly blame others. Look, if you slept with your best friend’s wife, stole rings from your uncle’s jewelry store or peed in your husband’s drink, own it. When you’re responsible for nothing, you’re nothing but irresponsible.

This morning, I played mixed doubles with three people I’d never met. Five points into the match, our female opponent moved over to the same side as her partner. We assumed she was ‘stacking,’ (a common strategy pictured above.) After my partner served, however, she suddenly said, “I wasn’t ready. Serve again.” He was very affable and served again. Inwardly, (maybe outwardly?) I rolled my eyes.

A few points later, I served to our opposing male player. He swung and missed the ball entirely! Then he said, “You need to serve again. I stopped playing because I thought you said, ‘Out.’” What? ‘Stopped playing’? Even my partner was non-plussed. “She didn’t say anything,” he scoffed.

“Well, I heard her say, ‘out’. So, she needs to serve again!”

I was fuming. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “When we win, this point won’t even matter.” After we won, they asked for a rematch but I made an excuse and left. Yes, I made an excuse. It’s one thing to put up with whiners at work but I’m sure as heck not tolerating it in play.

Almost 100 years ago, George Washington Carver, an enslaved man who was once traded for a horse, said: “Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” Clearly, Carver didn’t. He became a renowned agricultural scientist and is often credited for discovering peanut butter!

So next time you’re late for work instead of blaming traffic, try saying: “I’m sorry. I stayed up late scrolling. From now on, I’m turning my phone off at 9. No excuses!”