HOT UNDER THE COLLAR? TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!

Photo: I happened to look out a window when the Pocket Fire started in Sedona.

Around age 11, I was on a tennis court with a neighborhood boy hitting balls around. It was summer and brutally hot. At one point, he took off his shirt and threw it on a chair, so I did too. He didn’t raise an eyebrow. Sometime later, a guy drove up in a golf cart and told me to put on my shirt because, “you’re a girl.” I was furious and pointed out that we both looked, “exactly the same.” He said I’d have to leave if I didn’t. It still makes me mad. Heat will do that to you.

Since we are fully into the dog days of summer, take heed. This has been a record-breaking year for heat and wildfires. (The Japanese even coined a new word for it: ‘kokushobi’ which means, ‘cruel heat day.’) There is a good reason people get “hot under the collar.” Getting too hot obfuscates our thinking, derails our good judgment and causes everything from arguments to assaults. Heat can trigger psychotic episodes and heart attacks and also lead to an increase in crime, violence and murder.

Another hot topic? Scientists recently discovered that testicles have tastebuds! Ever since, men around the world have been dipping theirs in hot sauce to see if they can ‘taste’ with them. They can’t. Mostly, they end up with red, raw scrotums. Oh, the things we try in the name of experimentation. But who am I to talk? I threw myself out of a perfectly good airplane several times.

So, next time you feel an argument coming on, take off your shirt! (Ladies included.) Instead of dipping your anatomy in hot sauce, take a cold plunge. It can tame the wildest of beasts. Also, sleeping in too hot a room can trigger depression and anxiety because nighttime heat is even worse than daytime. So, if you don’t have AC like most of Europe, try an ice pack under the sheets or just curl up in the freezer.

Better yet, pick up a copy of “Endurance” for a cool summer read. Follow explorer Sir. Ernest Shackleton as he leads 28 men on an expedition to the Antarctic in 1915. Considered “the greatest survival story in history,” you’ll have 300 pages of nothing but the cold, white ice floes of the Arctic to keep you chilled to the very bone. It made me shiver.