TOP TEN ‘UP’SIDES OF GOING DOWNHILL

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 12.  A good night’s sleep can happen smack in the middle of the day.

11..  When your car gets towed, you are actually entitled to a senior discount!

10.  No one tries to slip a ‘date rape’ drug in your drink. 

9.  Store clerks don’t try to sell you spandex or stilettos anymore.

8.  Losing your hearing, particularly at the higher decibels, is a blessing.

7.  Losing your vision is also a blessing because you actually think you still look good.

6.  You don’t have to worry about running ‘your own race,’ because no one else is that far behind. 

5.  No one worries about ‘giving you the gossip’ because they know you’ll forget it by the time you get home anyway. 

4.  You don’t have to worry about how you look because frankly, no one is looking.

3. You have all the time in the world to converse with complete strangers who just dialed the wrong number.

2.  You have a long list of strong, young men at your fingertips.  (Someone has to get that dead squirrel off the roof).

And the top ten upside of going downhill?

1.  You don’t need to ‘google’ anything because if you haven’t googled it already, it’s just not worth googling.

Helen Hudson is the author of, “Kissing Tomatoes,” an Alzheimer’s memoir.

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