William Shakespeare sure understood a thing or two about people.  In the 500 years since he wrote those words, we have not really changed all that much.  “Trust,” as Granny always said, “has to be earned.” And since it April 1st, a day which ‘fools’ us all, I am contemplating what that word really means.

 Recently, I had the opportunity to listen in on a group of 20 something women describing what love and relationships are like in the world of iPhones and all things Internet.  Some complained that they actually “don’t talk” to their boyfriends, but “text instead.”  Others said that they felt their ‘real life’ romances were a bit of a letdown considering what both parties see and experience online.

 But here was the kicker for me:  almost ALL of them confided that they either had their boyfriend’s passwords, or secretly looked at their phones and checked their computers when they weren’t around.  Granted, women have checked up on their men since the old, ‘lipstick on the collar’ days.  But it was one thing to wonder.  Now if you’re lucky, you can get a video of him inflagrante delicto, sent straight to your phone. 

 Jody Arias took naked, cell phone photos of her intended just before she stabbed him to death in the shower.  Even running her camera through the washing machine couldn’t erase the evidence.  She, too, had snooped around his computer and didn’t like who he was ‘friends’ with.  Yikes.  Once the mirror is cracked, you really can’t look at it the same again.   

 Which brings me to the real reason for this post.  Tomorrow is my 33rd anniversary.  Neither of us have bought the other a card yet, but we don’t need to.  We have something untouched by poetry, flowers, chocolate, diamonds or any trip you could take to anywhere:  trust.  In 33 years, I have never searched his pockets, listened in on his conversations, checked up on his whereabouts, looked through his computer or even opened up his phone.  Not once.  Not ever.

 Now I have loved and love many, many people in my life.  Some make me laugh.  Others make me think.  Most bring me joy and a joie de vivre for this amazing and ever-changing world.  But do I trust them all?  Well, I’m with Will on this one.  Happy Anniversary, my love.  Consider this your card.    

Hudson is the author of, “Kissing Tomatoes,” a memoir of the years she and her husband cared for her grandmother with Alzheimer’s.Image


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