OUT OF THE SHADOWS INTO THE LIGHT

In this uncertain time, transparency-not invisibility-would be prudent. Yet, I feel I’m living among shadow people: those who share so little of themselves that they barely seem there as if I could pass my hand right through them. They are afraid to express their opinions, trust no one, monitor their doorbell cameras and phones, and remove their pronouns from their profiles and office doors. Soon, they’ll all be as white as the Pillsbury doughboy and just as pasty-brained.

The exact opposite occurs on the highway, though. Perhaps this is the only place they can be themselves? Hostile drivers, emboldened by the size of their cars, honk, cut me off or don’t let me merge. One woman blazed up the gutter and would’ve forced me over the line approaching a school crosswalk had I not jammed on the brakes. The more polite I am, the more they take advantage. As a result, I do a fair amount of cursing behind the wheel.

A recent study says that swearing not only increases pain tolerance but physical strength as well! Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to test that theory yet, trapped as I am in a seatbelt. But these days anything to take ones’ mind off what is might be helpful. Emotionally, we are as affected by the lack of good in our lives as we are by the presence of bad. Once our brains become sensitized to the negative, our thinking becomes negative and vice versa.

Recently, a friend said to me, ‘I want to crawl into someone else’s life.’ Understandable, but I wouldn’t trade my crazy one for anything. Last week, I watched three, baby eagles peck out of their shells. Mom and Dad patiently waited hours for them to emerge. They brushed away bits of shell, but made sure their little ones did all the hard work. The message was, ‘If you can’t get yourself out of that flimsy thing, facing a crow will decimate you.’

This is the same way I treat clients. Their actions are crucial. All I can do is clear some cobwebs, suggest alternate roads and offer tools to help them navigate. I remind them that we are not stuck in our minds and can move things in and out of them like cleaning out the closet. They mostly worry about the unknown but uncertainty is what leads to possibility: that moment before water becomes steam, before the kettle screams and we all finally step out of the shadows.