TOP TEN CLUES YOU’RE NOT A KID ANYMORE

smiley face2

 

  1. Everything hurts and if it doesn’t you’re just waiting for it to.
  2. “Your Body is a Wonderland,” in every sense of the word. Skin has gone south from your forehead to your ankles leaving a series of tiny, folded wrinkles that you can move around willy-nilly.
  3. Instead of tanning, you become covered with a splash of brown spots right out of a Jackson Pollock painting.
  4. Your teeth get bigger but your mouth gets smaller. (This is likely purposeful so that you will chew better and eat less).
  5. Everyone you see driving is entirely too young to be behind the wheel.
  6. You ask people on the phone to “speak up,” often more than once, and you still don’t know what they said.
  7. Complete strangers routinely ask if you have grandkids.
  8. Your mailbox is filled with ads for retirement homes, nursing facilities and funeral companies.
  9. You’re always looking for ramps.
  10. You can actually make a smiley face with the extra skin around your knees! (Test this by lying on your back and raising your leg in the air.)

 

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7 thoughts on “TOP TEN CLUES YOU’RE NOT A KID ANYMORE

  1. Did you make this one up or did you collect it? Either way it is ruefully funny. However, you are too young for some of these signs o aging by my standards. Keep up the good work and keep on trucking! Warmest wishes, Tasha

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    • Pujakins. Of course I wrote it. Can you imagine anyone else lying on heir back trying to take a picture of the smiley face in their knee?? As for being, “too young,” apparently, not. 🙂 🙂

      Like

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