It’s funny how the sheer passage of time changes your outlook.  40 years ago I was driven, ambitious and had the energy to scale miles of New York City sidewalks in high heels, no less.  Now, a good cup of coffee in my recliner with the dog in my lap as I read the morning news is bliss itself.

The dichotomy of those two pictures makes me shake my head.  It’s not that I wonder, ‘When did I get so old?’  What amazes me is that I was perfectly content then and just as content now.  It is as if my mind has reorganized itself to embrace this slowed-down, creakier version of my younger self.  Now other than the fact that I have many less years ahead of me than behind me, I am pretty much okay being exactly where I am.  Of course some days I am not exactly certain ‘where’ that is, but wherever it is, I am there.  And so are you.

There was a time where the thought of leaving this earth horrified me.  My stomach sank and the longer I thought about it the more distraught I became.  ‘Where will I go when I’m gone?’ I used to ask my grandmother.  ‘How will I be able to hug you if I’m not here!?’  Lately, I find myself warming up to the idea.  After all, there is only so much one can do with a life, and only so much time in which to do it.      

A man next to me in the pool today told me he took early retirement in his 50’s.  “I’m 82 now,” he said with resignation.  “At the time, my wife and I thought we would travel but we never really did.  I had a lot of plans when I was younger but somehow, the older I got the less important they seemed.  Now, I’m just happy to wake up in the morning.”

Clearly, he’s a few ‘acceptance stages’ ahead of me.  But I take comfort in his point of view.  I have now decided that we are wired to, ‘Be Here Now.’  That said, I wish you all a warm, contented morning.  May you be so blessed as I to have a dog curled up in your lap and a hot cup of coffee to get you going!!

Helen Hudson is the author of, “Kissing Tomatoes.”


One thought on “BE HERE NOW

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s