THANKS MOM

It is hard to believe that the young woman in this photo, a Smith College graduate, would spend the last decades of her life pushing a shopping cart filled with junk and sleeping in a baseball dugout. Such was the journey of my mother pictured above. It is only now I realize that the greatest gift she gave me wasn’t my talents but my ability to find beauty in the worst of circumstances and value in broken souls.

The last time we were face-to-face, was in a Long Island diner. Mother sat across from me with her thinning hair and big-faced grin. She had just found several, pink sponge hair curlers in the dumpster and was downright giddy. In between bites of a sloppy sub, she babbled on about her ‘friends,’ from the homeless to street cops, speaking of each as if they were movie stars. Hers was a rarefied air. Yes, it was delusional, but it spoke volumes about her ability to find joy everywhere it wasn’t.

I never fully appreciated her until giving birth myself. Looking into my daughter’s eyes and knowing she had come from my own body was astonishing. That sense of wonder has not left me still. It is not just the breath of life a mother breathes into you. It is also the breaths you take from her; the ones she held as you took your first steps, or used up giving advice and encouragement, those you knocked out of her when you stumbled and those she continues to hold as you navigate your own life.

Mothers endure as steadfastly as Jackie, the bald eagle I’ve followed on the Internet. Through rain and snowstorms, she has hovered over her eggs until first one and then the other hatched. As each emerged from its shell, she carried the broken pieces far away to fool predators. For ceaseless hours, she has remained, wings spread over their tiny, downy bodies to keep them warm, even as she shivers.

Once any child is born, a mother’s life is never again just hers. She is tied like a mast to the ships of her children. Beyond all hope, she wants those ships to sail, just as the eagle wants her young to fly. So, on this Mother’s Day, remember: the most joyous sound to her ears will be your voice. The loveliest sight will be your face and the greatest gift you can give her is a life well and honorably lived.