HOW YOU LOOK IS NOT HOW YOU ARE SEEN

Last week, I was feeling particularly lovely and vibrant, so I took some selfies in the garden to share with my kids. However, when I put on my glasses to look at them, I was stunned. Surely that weathered face and wrinkles didn’t belong to me? I started to delete them, then stopped myself. Since our brains are biased towards negativity, it’s important to counter that. The best solution for me? A walk in nature.

What captured my eye was this old saguaro at the end of the property. Impossibly high with curving arms, its beauty is subtle. At the top is a hole which holds a Great Horned owl who often hoots before daybreak. This giant cactus seemingly rises from rock with no nurture, yet nurtures all who visit. Saguaros don’t reach their full height or produce their first blooms until they’re 70, so immediately, I felt a bond.

While I like being around people, I love being solitary more. Given my predilection for dancing in public, few believe this to be true, but it is. When I feel like retreating from the world of others—which is often—I play music, sing or write. Not everyone is fortunate to have so many resources. This is why I encourage my clients to try new things and stretch themselves, especially while they’re young.

Why? Because everything is harder as you age. While the physical diminishments and difficulties are obvious, the hardest part is keeping your spirit up. It takes an energy beyond what many feel capable of revving. It also takes courage to put yourself ‘out there’ especially if no one wants you ‘there’ in the first place. But here is the reward if you do: someone will ‘see’ you and people who feel seen, SOAR.

Some weeks ago, while doing taxes, I had thoughts of concluding this column. Considering the hours spent, it doesn’t make financial sense, and I often fret I’ll run out of ideas. Then, a note from a stranger dissuaded me. It reminded me that how you look is not how you are seen. Maya Angelou once wrote, “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud,” This reader was mine. So, thank you, whoever, wherever you are.