JUDGE THE COVER, MISS THE BOOK

Just when I think I’m seeing things clearly, I get thrown a curve ball. As I enter the produce section of Trader Joe’s, there is a man fondling the bananas. Yes, fondling. He eventually pulls off only one. I’m intrigued. His clothes are ill fitting and shabby and the seat of his trousers seems oil soaked. When he turns towards me, his long, stringy, unkempt hair frames a gaunt face that is missing several teeth. I figure he is homeless.

Two aisles later, we pass again in the frozen food section. His walk is jerky and odd. It’s not Parkinson’s, so I wonder if he might have Tardive Dyskinesia from taking too much medication. I smile at him as we pass, and he smiles toothlessly back.

Later, as I stand in the checkout line with my small bag of five items, he comes up behind me, carrying one banana and a small bottle of water. I offer to let him go first.

“You only have two items,” I say. “I have five.”

He insists I go first. So, I thank him and checkout, silently hoping he is getting his food free from the cashier.

As I maneuver my car out of the parking lot, he crosses in front of me. I wait for him to pass, assuming he is heading to the homeless encampment nearby. However, as he gets towards my side, he gestures at me to roll down my window. When I do, he says:

“I was wondering if you’d like to come over to my house for dinner tonight and watch a movie?”

I’m stunned.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I reply, “but how nice of you to ask.”

“Ok,” he says and walks away.

I wrestle with myself all the way home. Does he really have a house? Is he delusional? Am I? Then I realize that the whole time I was judging him, he was looking at me with hopefulness. Like the picture above, I saw only a burned-out car and totally missed what used to be a BMW underneath.

Lately, my favorite tv show is, “Love on the Spectrum,” which helps folks with autism find love. It fills me with hope. The most touching part is how kind the new couples are with each other. Their ‘judgment’ of their partners is almost non-existent. Science shows that even rats show kindness, orcas mourn their dead, and monkeys protest injustice. I still have a way to go.