mental-health
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stupid is smarts gone AWOL
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein Sometimes I do something so dumb that even I am floored. Such was the case last night, when I decided to untangle string lights that a windstorm blew over the backyard wall. Despite my poor vision… Read more
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magical thinking
I have a friend who cleans his sunglasses with paper money. He swears, “It keeps them cleaner longer.” However, the science says that’s not true. Paper, which is made from wood pulp, scratches lenses. So why is he convinced otherwise? Beats me. What matters is what he thinks—not what is. Neither truth nor science affect our decision making.… Read more
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THE UPSIDES OF GOING DOWNHILL
I’m gonna smack the next person who tells me, “You’re only as old as you feel.” That is the single, stupidest thing I’ve heard in the last 20 years. If you knew how I really felt, you’d wonder how the hell I was still above ground!! AND…on the days when I DO feel young, folks… Read more
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NOW YOU SEE IT
I still remember every, single one of those metal staples being pulled out of me by pliers. That was just the surface pain. Underneath was a gut-wrenching trauma. As my surgeon breezily explained, “It’s brutal. I make a 10-inch incision across your knee and remove your knee cap. Then I saw your leg in half,… Read more
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SQUABBLE OR SCRABBLE?
Lately, my couples have been going after each other like these quail; their beaks moving fast and furiously to get the last seed— or word— in. Sometimes, I remove myself from the jabber and just listen. Two sentiments between multiple partners have repeated themselves over and over. They bear noting: 1. “You should know… how… Read more
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DEPENDENT ON INDEPENCE
There is a line in the Declaration of Independence that has long intrigued me: “all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.” It intrigues me because of the truth of it. We do suffer, and… Read more
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THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
I have played pickleball under these signs countless times for several years. Until someone took this picture, I didn’t realize just how many, “NO’s” were above my head. There are nine to be exact. Why didn’t I see them before? Likely it’s because I’m always looking for the “Yes” in things, not the “No.” So, I wonder why… Read more
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GIDDY WITH GRATITUDE!
Recently, a new friend said to me at a party, “You come with a reputation. Everyone knows you and the reviews are all 5-star!” I felt so warm inside you’d have thought my heart was on fire. Isn’t it funny how two sentences can lift your spirits? It’s nice to imagine I might have that… Read more
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LIGHT IT UP
As a therapist, I’ve seen my share of suicides, psychotics, schizophrenics and other tortured souls: Men and women abusing each other or themselves. Couples with unrealistic expectations of their partners. Addicts unable to stop using drugs, eating food or watching porn and a populace that has seemingly lost its’ purpose. Recently, a teenager told me… Read more
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS INTO THE LIGHT
In this uncertain time, transparency-not invisibility-would be prudent. Yet, I feel I’m living among shadow people: those who share so little of themselves that they barely seem there as if I could pass my hand right through them. They are afraid to express their opinions, trust no one, monitor their doorbell cameras and phones, and remove their… Read more