OLD IS NOT OVER. . .

Yesterday, the produce man was explaining to a woman how to tell when mangos are ripe.

“The more wrinkled they get, the sweeter they are,” he assured her.

“Just like me!” I piped up. They both looked over but neither got it.

Interestingly, science says that time does make us kinder. Soon, I’ll be the nicest person on Earth!! Getting older takes some gumption though. We elders are so ignored that we’re disappearing in place. It’s not like in primitive societies where grandma walked off into the wilderness when it was ‘time.’ Now, we do it ourselves in small steps.

We evolve from being the center of everything to clinging to the fringe of nothing. First there’s that slump as we draw into our shell. Then our voice gets softer. There’s no reason to raise it. Who’s listening? In time, we simply fade. You need the skills of a politician and a high kick if you don’t want to be ignored or scammed.

But Old does not mean Over!  It means we’re not Under yet. I learned that from a Master. In my 20’s, I became friends with Lucille Ball when she was the age I am now. Lucy had singled me out from a class she was teaching.

“I’m taking you under my wing,” she said—and she did.

Lucy had become reclusive. She said people were always disappointed that she, ‘no longer looked or acted like’ she used to. We spent hours at her home in Beverly Hills talking about everything from music to men. We’d both been raised by grandmothers we revered. The glamorous photos on her walls didn’t possess near the gravitas of the woman I came to know.

One night, Lucy invited me to dinner solely to meet her son. “You are the kind of girl I wish he would marry,” she confided. However, Desi Jr. showed up late with an actress on his arm and spoiled her plans. She also taught me how to play backgammon but eventually gave up saying, “I’m sorry, Helen, you’re just too slow.”

Recently someone said to me, “I saw some old pictures of you and you used to be pretty.” At first, it caught me off guard. Then I thought, a tree wouldn’t be upset if you said, ‘I saw some old pictures of you and you used to be a seed.’ Besides, ‘pretty’ can’t compare to the, wise, curious, insightful, compassionate, athletic, fun, spontaneous, sexy and kind person I am now. Lucy would agree.