Apparently the days of embarrassing myself are still not over. Getting in the wrong car because it looked like mine, or thinking someone said, “ass” when actually they said, “ask” was a minor gaffe. Wearing my shirt backwards all day in public was a mere oversight. But I’m not quite sure how to explain this next one.
Every 6 months, I have my blood drawn for a cholesterol check. Just the thought of that, long, silver-pointed needle jabbed into my vein, sucking out my life force, gives me the Willies!! After years of phlebotomists having trouble finding my vein, I have come up with a surefire solution: I do 20 pushups, then using the arms of the chair in the waiting room, I lift my butt out of the seat 20 times. Finally, I do a handstand against the wall. Works like a charm.
Recently, I was in the process of packing for a major move across country when suddenly, I remembered, that I had to have my blood drawn! Quickly, I threw on a sweatshirt and drove downtown. When I arrived at the doctor’s office, there were only two, young boys, in the waiting room. They looked like brothers in their matching khaki shorts. I guessed them to be about 10 and 12.
“The nurse will be ready for you in a few minutes, “ the receptionist said, “So go ahead and do your handstand now!”
I walked over to my favorite spot on the wall, put my hands down on the carpet and sent my legs straight up. Just as I did, I felt my sweatshirt slip down to my neck. It was only then that I realized that I had forgotten to put on a bra!! Immediately, I came down but I could tell by the red faces of those boys that I did not come down fast enough.
“Oh,” I said to them, “I am SO sorry about that! It was NOT my intention to shock you, so please forgive me.” Shyly, they both continued looking down, though each was slightly smiling. Neither said a word. Gosh,” I blurted as I made my getaway, “Let’s just pretend that never happened.” Then I fled down the hall.
Well, on the bright side, at least I was upside down. At my age, that’s likely an improvement!