You probably think these bellbottoms are my teenage daughter’s. Nope. Every soft, comfy, psychedelic inch of these stunners are all mine and I am mad for them. And get this: they were only $7. How did I score such a deal? I was browsing in a chichi old lady’s shop in Florida a few months ago. Found them on the sale rack marked down from $67.

“Gosh,” I said to the 22 year-old behind the counter. “How come these are marked down so much? They fit like a glove. Is there a hole in them or something?”

“No,” the girl laughed. “They didn’t sell. I don’t think anyone your age wants to be caught dead wearing them.”

Let me assure you that I was not offended in the least. In fact, I then said:

“Well do you have any more? I’ll buy all of them.”

She looked at me like I was deaf or had dementia.

So let me enumerate a few things that are important to know when you are over sixty and dressing to go out:

1.  You must dress for comfort. (Your body is already uncomfortable and achy enough).
2. You must wear clothes that make you happy to be in them. (You won’t be taking them off willy-nilly.)
3. You must wear clothes that make YOU happy to look at. The brighter and wilder the better. (At least people will notice you.)
4. You must wear clothes that reflect your spirit. (Recently, I have tossed almost all black, navy blue and gray from my wardrobe.)
5. You must wear clothes. (Sad, but true or you’ll likely be arrested as I once was.)

Now I have worn my bells almost constantly since. They wash and dry like a dream.  Last week, my 23 year-old walked in the house and took a long, serious look at me. I was waiting to be lambasted.

“Wow, Mom, those are really cool,” she said with approval, “Where did you get them?  I would love a pair just like them.”

Come to think of it, I WOULD like to be caught dead in them.